about
"I didn't sleep at all last night. One reason was an inflamed, itchy back, but the other was a dark night of the soul processing the words "disenfranchised grief", going back over decades, and understanding, or trying to understand, how I have lived with that motif since I was a child.
And how that all ties in with the multiple closets and multiple abandonments -- from early on to the latest Hamlet class. Plucked away so many times from relationships, family, employment, and, indeed, entire modes of being -- and never allowed to mourn, never allowed, often, to say goodbye.
I don't know where to put it all. It makes me so sad."
- R. B. March 15th, 2021
Those who come to us for healing, or even just as our friends, are often our mirrors - wrestling with the same issues we in the helping professions need to heal in our own lives. The above quote was shared with me, with permission to use it in this project and my upcoming work on this subject, by someone with whom I am in a complex relationship - this person is my teacher, my student, my dear friend, my client, a person I love deeply and in fact, this relationship constitutes some of my own Disenfranchised Grief and Loss, which I will not go into here. The quote, in my view, holds in feeling the essence of this universally destructive type of Grief and Loss.
This project is focused on
The Phenomenon of Disenfranchised Grief.
I will begin with a definition:
DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF is any grief over a loss that is not openly acknowledged by others, is not socially accepted or is not welcome to be publicly mourned.
The original intention for this project was to share my exploration of the following:
This is an ongoing project - what you see here constitutes a small fragment - but check back, as we hope to grow these pages. There is so much to be explored on this topic, that it is on it's way to becoming a BOOK of the same title:
DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF;
Dancing with Desertion, Disintegration & Death
And the Holy Healing in Being Heard (Or Witnessed)
As mentioned, part of my process for the writing of the book will entail research. If you, or someone you know, would like to participate in my research or would simply like to share privately your/their story of Disenfranchised Grief, how it has affected your life to this point, how it may still be affecting you, or how you have moved towards healing the wounds, I would be delighted and honored to receive your stories.
TO SHARE: Please go to my CONTACT page for sharing options.
Thank you one and all, and I sincerely hope that the images and information here may be of service to you, those you love and/or those you work with on your healing journeys.
Warmly & With Love,
Rev. Maya Andrea Y. Grillo Massar
The Phenomenon of Disenfranchised Grief.
I will begin with a definition:
DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF is any grief over a loss that is not openly acknowledged by others, is not socially accepted or is not welcome to be publicly mourned.
The original intention for this project was to share my exploration of the following:
- The meaning of the words
- The experience of Disenfranchised Grief in individuals and communities
- The effects of the sometimes seemingly “unhealable” aspects of this type of grief on society and our world
- A look at some methods for, and the alchemy of, transforming the wounds into healing pathways for us all
- One personal example of how I use art to do my own healing work around this under-investigated type of grief
This is an ongoing project - what you see here constitutes a small fragment - but check back, as we hope to grow these pages. There is so much to be explored on this topic, that it is on it's way to becoming a BOOK of the same title:
DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF;
Dancing with Desertion, Disintegration & Death
And the Holy Healing in Being Heard (Or Witnessed)
As mentioned, part of my process for the writing of the book will entail research. If you, or someone you know, would like to participate in my research or would simply like to share privately your/their story of Disenfranchised Grief, how it has affected your life to this point, how it may still be affecting you, or how you have moved towards healing the wounds, I would be delighted and honored to receive your stories.
TO SHARE: Please go to my CONTACT page for sharing options.
Thank you one and all, and I sincerely hope that the images and information here may be of service to you, those you love and/or those you work with on your healing journeys.
Warmly & With Love,
Rev. Maya Andrea Y. Grillo Massar
